The Problem with Oppositional Thinking

I travel across the country and work with people from a wide variety of denominations. I have spoken about how “Vagueness is killing the church” in many of these settings. I have seen well-intentioned people only become clear and passionate when they are describing what they are AGAINST. Too often, we define many things by what they AREN’T. We often are clearer about what we don’t want to be than what we firmly believe in.

Some examples of this kind of thinking are: “I don’t want to be like those Baptist’s because they…” “I hate those ____________ because they ___________...” “Rob Bell is not one of us any more because he ____________.” Opposition is our focus, rather than passion and vision FOR something. I see it all the time in churches and in leadership. It sounds strong and clear, but in fact it often doesn’t go anywhere. It just stays negative. Its reference point is opposition, not clarity.

Vagueness does not produce passion. It leaves us loosely agreeing with something but having no clear understanding of how to live out the ideas. Oppositional thinking is similar because its only focus is the opposing view. Our energy is in the disagreement—not the clear articulation of my hopes, dreams and vision. The political rhetoric of the past year has had much of this flavor. Sadly, churches are not exempt from this kind of dialogue. Most churches—and church leaders—are much clearer on what they DON’T believe than what they actually DO believe.

So, my question for any of you who are leaders is, “What is it you are FOR? What produces passion in you? What are your hoped-for-outcomes? What are your core values?” Naming the things that get us going—in a positive way—is the key to a sustainable leader. Without these things, we are susceptible to the expectations of others, the demands of the job and the newest idea proposed at the convention.

Think hard about your theological and philosophical “big rocks”. What are the hills you really are ready to fight on—because you only have so many and you don’t want to waste them on things that don’t really matter.

May you and I gain clarity in our life and ministry. Not clarity about what other people are doing wrong—but about what we desperately want to work to accomplish. May our passion be positive and inspirational rather than negative and oppositional.

Peace,
Tiger

The Risk of Independence

I am an independent person. My dad taught me to tackle a job, work hard and finish it well. My independent strain has served me well at times. I have limped through tough times, but I have finished. Yes, I see some benefits for the independent spirit.

But, I have continued to see another side to this issue of independence. I have seen how it can lead to isolation. Its external focus on strength can, in fact, lead to an internal weakness because it doesn’t access the power of interdependence. Independence believes that I can do it by myself—but, the gospel continues to challenge us to much more of an interdependent perspective. That’s tough for some of us.

The problem with leadership is that it will affirm your independence all the way to the point of your emotional, relational and physical collapse. And, that is not a good place to be.

I think of Peter as he sat by the fire and denied that he even knew Jesus. That was a tough time for the vocal, committed disciple. He was sure that he would stand with Jesus even if every other one of them fell away…yet, here he was failing to have the strength to follow through. I think there are three reasons why Peter failed….and why independent people like me often fail.

1. He was alone. It’s pretty basic, but Peter was trying to do this all by himself. He was not accessing the power of the group. I have made the same mistake many times—I have just tried to do it myself. In the process, I miss hearing other perspectives, being strengthened by the faith of others, and being challenged to live out my words. He was alone—it sometimes is the kiss of death.

2. He was overconfident. He had told Jesus that He could count on him. Peter was sure he would hang in there until the end. That overconfidence is a great thing in one respect—it builds confidence in the followers. But, if it isn’t reality, then the crash is a big one. I have been there….trust me, it hurts.

3. He was unprepared. He had some idea of what the temptation or scene might look like, but he was clearly unprepared for what it REALLY was like. When he was staring at the eyes of his accuser, all his idealistic strength fell by the wayside. He simply wasn’t ready for the fear that was inside him.

Leadership can put us in places like this. We think we are ready for the conflicts with the parents, the critics in the youth group or the expectations of the staff. But, then reality hits and we find ourselves alone, overconfident and unprepared. It may not result in you denying Jesus, but it might show up in another painful experience.

Work on the interdependence necessary to fight these Peter tendencies. Find those places where you can be honest and face your issues. Yes, it takes some risk and might be scary. But, I can guarantee you that it isn’t as scary as facing your own failure.