Each year I attempt to take 2-3 days for a personal retreat from my normal, busy world. I don’t always succeed—but the routine is a good one. It is not a “super-spiritual” retreat with total silence, only fruit and granola and a Bible. No, I am too worldly for that….
My retreats include three areas: Spiritual, Personal and Ministry. I bring lots of things to “do” in each area—more than I could do in a week of retreats!! But, I live in the tension of the possible, and see what God brings to the surface. I have a computer—and am writing this now as I sit in my room. It is not a total exclusion of the world around me, but the time stops me enough to remind me of some things.
In this tradition is always silence. No radios, TVs, ipods or internet. Silence….that mysterious space we so often avoid. As an extrovert, I process information verbally, grow spiritually in conversations, get energy in connections and simply enjoy interactions with other people. But, as always, we are called into new territory if growth is our real concern. To do the same thing is not always a bad thing—but it is a bad thing to never do a new thing.
And so silence is part of my new thing each year. Not that I don’t do silence during the year—it is just a more intentional, extended, deep and reflective silence I experience here. It draws me and repels me at the same time. My insecurities creep to the surface and begin to whisper in my ear. My hurts surprise me with the fact that there remains some healing that I may have ignored. My fears and lack of faith in God—the real, honest lack of faith…not the false, verbal assurances I proclaim in public—haunt me around the edges of the silence.
But, there is healing inside the whispering, the haunting and surprises. There is truth to be heard—real truth spoken to the soul. There is a rock we can be sure of when our life feels shaky. It is what we long for, but often miss.
Youth ministry is a loud, fast world. I love it—and the people who inhabit that world. Thanks for being one of them. But, I worry about our souls because the whisper of God is often missed in the volume, the pace and the vast amounts of pizza. If you are a disciplined, reflective introvert reading this—please be patient with the rest of us. If you are a normal youth worker who complains because you are feeling dry today—stop complaining and get your calendar out. Make a day, or at least a half-day to go away. Find a retreat center, or a friends church with a small chapel. Don’t do a coffee shop, your house or your office…it always sounds like a good idea, but doesn’t work for this kind of intentional silence. Break free to STOP…and see what happens.
You might be pleased and bothered by it all. But, you will have stopped—and that is good in itself. Listen for the quiet whisper of God telling you that He is with you, loves you and still wants to use you. Be willing to hear the challenge from God that we can so easily ignore in the busyness. Whatever it is, stop and listen. Stop and listen.
Peace in Christ, Tiger
