The issue of family ministry has become a hot topic in our field. There have been many reactions against the “old” model of youth ministry that separated teenagers from their parents and had youth workers being the cool, fun person who worked only with young people. These are legitimate criticisms, but—as usual—we often react to something and swing the pendulum too far.

I would argue that this is the case with youth and family ministry. We have some serious problems as we try to address this issue of family systems, parenting in today’s culture and sharing faith to the next generation. There is a valid criticism of the ministry model that tries to replace parents as the primary faith-shapers of their children. The professionalism of youth ministry has created some problems—but simply saying that” home is church” is to miss the reality of our context.

Let’s be honest. The average parent in the average church is not equipped or has a clear vision of being the primary teacher of faith to their children. We can complain about that—or pretend it is not true—but I think that misses the reality. Most parents are not growing much spiritually, and they don’t have a plan for the spiritual growth of their children.

IF this is true—then creating a model that simply gives resources to ill-equipped and unprepared parents will not solve the problem. I would contend that only a whole church commitment to discipleship of all ages will begin to address the real issue. To have spiritual children, you need spiritual parents. And they need to be spiritual parents with a clear plan for shaping the faith of their children.

Churches must preach and teach in ways that help all ages really grow in their faith—in their life context. It means that parents need to be taught, reminded and challenged to take their role very seriously. They need to have places where they can think and develop their family goals that go beyond being a taxi driver to all of their kid’s activities—including the “God Box.” Parents are being duped by our culture—and our churches are often not speaking clearly into and against that culture. We simply let the values of consumerism steal our families, while we have one parent’s meeting in September.

We all say that parents are too busy to come to our training events—but that is letting the disease run the ministry. We let our families drink from the busyness Kool-Aid and don’t challenge the implications that affect every area of our lives—including our spiritual lives.

I am curious what you are doing in your context to actually help parents be more focused, more intentional and better equipped to faithfully raise their children to know, love and follow Jesus. I know it is hard. (By the way—YL is having a one-day seminar on “Ministering to Families” on Thursday, September 29th to continue this discussion.)

Peace,
Tiger