Friends,
I am back...really, I am. It has been a long time since my last post. One comment to me was, "If you have a blog, then BLOG." Pretty succinct. So, here are my excuses...(by the way--you will see that these are not just MY excuses--they are excuses I see leaders using all the time.)
1. I have been super-busy. This is a great excuse because it helps us feel important. The urgent things have taken over my life and I can't seem to get off the treadmill. I feel it all the time--and I hear it at every meeting I go to.
2. I am a procrastinator. Ah, the shrugged shoulders that excuses everything. I'm sorry, I just let things go and this got away from me. It IS true by the way--I AM a procrastinator. I have become addicted to the pressure that comes from delaying things. I am writing this late in the day while I know I have to rush off to a meeting...
3. I am an initiator. This is another "strength-finder" approach to excusing behavior. It says that I am gifted at getting things started, but not energized by maintaining things or keeping them going. While it may be true--it just isn't an excuse to NOT follow through on your good ideas. Life is full of the mundane things. Deal with it.
4. I have no discipline. OK, this is a really big one for me. It is true. I don't. It is only one weakness that affects about 90 different areas of my life--from friendships to spiritual growth and everything in between. Blogging requires discipline--and that is in short supply these days. Welcome to leadership for many of us. If you wait for discipline to land on your doorstep before you work at your discipline--it just won't happen.
5. "Do I have anything to say?" This is my self-doubt excuse. It has many forms in leadership, but it is the voice that causes us to be insecure, pull-back, avoid conflict or not stand up for our values. It is the self-doubt that saps the leader's ability to speak up. I hear it all the time--and it is one of the reasons I don't blog every Monday like I had planned.
As I said, these 5 excuses are mine. But, I am pretty sure many of you have heard those same excuses--or similar ones--roll around in your head. How do you deal with the excuses you make up? How do you work through them? Are there others that steal your focus and energy? As usual, I would love to hear from you.
Thanks for taking the time to read this. God bless
Dear Tiger. I'm hoping that you are not too down on yourself by not blogging consistently. I suspect, based on knowing you over 35 years ago, that you've touched and positively influenced 100s of lives between posts. I am one of the youth (not so young anymore), to whom you made a difference. Remember "the church"?
ReplyDeleteI try very hard not to make excuses to and for myself. Instead I tell myself that I make choices. I think that a big reason why we make excuses is because it seems that we're not living up to others' expectations and we don't want people to be disappointed in us.
An example: My husband and I were at a dinner party and everyone was going to play pickleball (picture badmitton played with giant ping pong paddles and a tennis height net). I wasn't interested at all in playing and not that long ago I either would have succumbed to peer pressure and played (disliking every laughing minute of it) or I would've made false excuses as to why I didn't want to play (I'm too clumsy, wearing the wrong shoes, sore arm, bum knees, etc) rather than saying "I don't wanna", which can make me seem standoffish. Instead, I told my friend that I chose to not participate and was happy to just watch. This may seem like not such a big deal, but for me it was. I actually felt quite mature and proud of myself. My friend was speechless for just a second, then she laughed, hugged me tight, and said she respected that. This example is somewhat frivolous, I know. I have found, though, that when I say "I choose" rather than "I can't because, I didn't because" etc., that I stand straighter and hold my head higher.
This is the second blog I've ever read and the first time I've responded. Did I do it right? :)
Lynda,
DeleteI DO remember you--and I have great memories of "The Church." Loved it--and would love to catch up with you.
Thanks for your comment--you did great. How did you find this little blog?
Anyway, I do appreciate your words. I was trying to be a little sarcastic and try some internet humor as I wrote. Obviously, it may not have worked. I was trying to point out the ways in which I (and many of us) try to "excuse" our behaviors....as a way to get leaders thinking about how these may ring true in their lives.
I think your lessons of honesty and "naming the real issue" is really healthy. I hope you are doing well.
Peace,
Tiger