Pain has hit me again. This time is was physical pain--a shoulder that could not be ignored any more. It screamed for my attention even throughout the night at hourly intervals. It disrupted my normal pattern, sapped my energy and drained my strength. I have lived with it for years as an on-again, off-again reminder of a nagging injury. But, this weekend was not a back-burner issue. It became a demanding partner that would not let go of me, and frankly, really disrupted my plans for the weekend.
The week before Christmas it was relational pain as I lost my 51 year old brother in law as he had surgery for a heart problem suddenly diagnosed. Pain took hold of his family as they suffered the loss of a husband, father, brother and son. It was brutal to be a part of this kind of pain. For this family--the pain was magnified because of the love they had for one another, the positive relationships in the family, and the closeness they experienced with one another. Pain screamed for their attention.
We see pain as the enemy. We drug it, deny it, stay busy to ignore it and pray for a band-aid to cover it. But, we often don't really deal with it and see what we can learn from it. I am certainly not one to say I'm glad when pain comes my way. But, our avoidance of it without reflection often does us no good as leaders and as followers of Jesus. It circumvents the learning process when we make our theology be all about avoiding pain.
It is interesting that the Bible doesn't seem to buy into this idea. The writers of Scripture lament openly about pain, cry out to God in honest pain and even wonder out loud if God is around during it all. Good, honest stuff. And the good news is that God is bigger than our perspective on pain--and can meet us in and through it all. Scripture is full of folks who have learned that lesson, and we need to be reminded of it in our world today.
Life is hard at times. Pain screams at us. Sometimes the pain is physical--sometimes relational or emotional. Whatever the pain, I pray that you avoid the blaming and running. Face it, name it and seek to find God in it. Is God the rock in the midst of the pain, or the rescue attempt to get out of the pain?
I think the answer to your question is "yes", Tiger - and I think that sometimes, depending on perspective, the answer can be different. Yes, God is our Rock and our Salvation to whom we can cling, but there is also some that would say that God is there when we get out of it...God can be both our lifeboat and our lighthouse - one to help us through it and one to look toward to help get us out...
ReplyDeleteIn my journey through pain I try to acknowledge it as much as possible but it seems to make everyone around me uncomfortable, which then makes me want to hide my pain. For me the lesson is to let others experience their pain so that they don't feel the need to hide it.
ReplyDeleteYou are right--sometimes sharing our pain can be uncomfortable. We need to have safe places to share with honesty, and not expect everyone to be ok with that. Hiding is not necessarily healthy, but discernment is necessary.
ReplyDeleteSuperchic[k] described faith maintained despite outwards signs:
ReplyDeleteAfter all this has passed,
I still will remain
After I've cried my last,
There'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today,
Someday I'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain
I think one of the best questions you ever asked Tiger was, who are our "garden friends". Those people that we bring into our pain, into our crisis, into our exhaustion, and our doubt. Just like Jesus did in the garden of gethsemane (Hopefully our garden friends don't fall asleep on us though). Having those trusted friends, most of whom are outside of my church, has been a life line for me to gain perspective, love, and strength.
ReplyDeleteI would recommend to have some trusted people outside of your church though that can listen to you without you worrying about what they are going to say to others in the church. Also, I have found those people need to be mature so they can handle the tension that you are raising without feeling like they just need to fix things.
Thanks again Tiger for the thoughts and leadership. I would so agree that pain is the place for so much growth. As I have experienced in my life, you often have to go through the valley of the shadow of death to get to the next green pasture and still waters. The question is, will we trust our shepherd in the midst of the valley?
Scott and Nate,
ReplyDeleteThanks for your additions to the conversation. Pain is never a "fun" topic, but it sure seems to be part of the journey. And, our ministries have to be places where people feel cared for when they are touched by pain. Hang in there!!